28 years ago today I was handed a precious gift in the form of a little boy we named Matthew (which means "gift of God"). He was loving, sensitive, and funny. When there was tension in the house he would write me little notes to tell me how much he loved me. He was a quiet, old soul who took on the troubles of the world. In contrast he had two younger sisters he ruled over. The girls still laugh over some of the crazy antics Matt talked them into. He looked up to his older brother James and admired his achievements. One of his favorite people was his step-grandpa, Everett, who was one guy who could put away some food! He baptized Matt when he was 10 and now I'm sure they've shared some heavenly meals together and will be waiting for us to join them. I miss my "sunshine" every day but I know his "chains are gone, he's been set free" and I rejoice in that. I'll see you again, Matthew - of that I'm certain.
Happy Golden Birthday!
Your grateful mom.
Shout to the Lord / Deb Schaller (Mother)
The song "Shout to the Lord' was a special song for Matthew and I. Matthew struggled all of his adult life with depression and substance abuse. In 1998 he was in "Teen Challenge" of Cincinnati to work on recovery from an addiction to heroin. The 1st time we were able to visit, the men sang "Shout to the Lord". I had heard the song before but now it had a new meaning for me. I would travel often to Cincinnati to attend church on Sunday mornings wherever they were attending and often that song would be sung and Matthew would look at me and smile. When he was home and we attended church together it seemed more often than not "Shout to the Lord" would be sung and we would smile at each other. Sadly, Matthew died as a result of his addiction and depression but that song still continues to minister to me and I think of my loving son smiling at me from Heaven whenever I hear it.
Living/ Elizabeth Aouad (maternal Aunt )
We will live again! Together, forever in heaven above Great mercies abounding, unfathomable love! Oh, Heavenly Father, please help us to see beyond veils of skies over earth and the seas Into the distance we strain and proclaim It's Matthew in glory with joy unrestrained Living continues for all who believe In Gods great salvation He sent His loved Son For all who have sacrificed loved ones , we know The depth of the love that this sacrifice showed To all who would look on His uncomely form The meaning of love was born In death came life ,in defeat, victory! We thank you ,Lord Jesus Being bound, we are freed We cry and we wonder, aloud and alone How great is our God, can He ever be known? We love what we see of Him, sometimes we fall face down in His presence Struck dumb and with awe We ever adore Him, Consumed by His love In ashes we settle, repentant, abased Still ever desiring a glimpse of His face. Redeemer, deliverer, majestic, divine, perfector and Savior of poorly mankind. I see Matthew's name on your palms, etched in red Deeply inscribed where their piercings bled On my knees I pray to see the names of every loved one there This is our heritage, our future our home Our family lineage of Royal Priests and Kings never more this old earth to roam Heavenly mansions with just enough rooms replace our earthly tombs Darkness lifts and all is light, no more sorrow no more night I go to sleep and rest once more to face the day and this life here This shadow life that will come clear In time for all to choose the way, back to home or turn away...He calls to you, "Choose life this day." A simple call gentle, clear heeded by the listening ear Hauntingly private and sweetly still The angels wait, heaven pauses Expectant!
I'm praying for you Debbie / Chrissy Redwine (friend of Deb ) What a beautiful website, what a beautiful son. Beautiful poems, and pictures. Debbie I am praying for you always. God bless you and your family. Hang on to Jesus, He will help us through. Matt touched many lives and was a beautiful person with a beautiful soul. I love this website. God bless you Matt. God bless you Debbie. love, chrissy redwine
Thinking of Matthew / Linda-GN Mom2Dawn&Laurie4ever (friend of Mom )
Light a Candle
Light a candle for those we mourn Into a new life they will be born. Do not look for them at the gravesite. they are somewhere else radiating their beautiful light. They have gone to a new world where there is no darkness, no pain. Their light and essence will always remain. Light a candle for those who have left this mortal place. They are free to travel through time and space. When we think of them, they are near. When we sit in a beautiful garden. Their voices we hear. When we listen to a divine symphony, We close our eyes, their faces we see. Light a candle for they have not really gone. With each flickering flame, in your hearts they will always belong.
The Time of the year that comes again and again / Marian Veverka (Griefnet friend ) March in northern Ohio & winter, so reluctantly begins to give way to spring. This year there is still ice on the lake. Last year at this time it was open. Debbie, your son Matt, like my daughter Betsy passed far from home. They had both gone out into the world & tried their wings & for a little while they were successful. They lived in worlds far from the place they were born, but it was in those worlds that whatever it was they had struggled against finally overpowered them. And so we brought them home. Sometimes, when I sit next to Betsy's grave, I feel that she is "safe." That she is home now & no more bad things can happen to her. And then I realize "but at what a price! Surely she could have been allowed to try her little wings a while longer." Your Matt did not spend as long a time on earth as Betsy did. As of today, it has been 2 years & 5 months. Betsy passed in the season of summer into fall. It is the seasons, I believe, rather than the numbers on a calandar that do us in. The date carved on Betsy's stone is not the day she passed. We do not know the real "date'. But the season is always there to remind us. It will bring us, as I have already realized, happier memories of better days. And hope of reunion. Our hope, love memories accompany us as the seasons slip into each other. We grow older & our children remain forever young. Until we meet again...
My prayers are with you / Jacob's Mom (GN Family ) To Matthew and his Mom and family - Thank you for sharing dear Matthew through this beautiful site. I wish you all God's comfort and grace...
Let not your heart be troubled: believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I come again, and will receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. John 14: 1-3
Rest sweetly in the arms of Jesus.... / Virginia Wilkins (maternal grandma ) I knew Matthew was a special child when he was very young. He always had a sweet, caring way about him. He was special to his grandma. One day when I step on heavens shore he will take me by the hand and lead me to meet Jesus. I know my dear husband, Everett, who baptized Matthew was standing there with a big smile and saying welcome home Matthew; this is the place God has prepared for you, I knew you would make it. It may have been a struggle but God understood your pain and heartache. Oh, how much he loves you.....Your Grandma
griefnet Mom / Eva Gompers Dear Deb, I just read some of the posts, the poems are so touching, I am sitting here crying after reading them. I know how you feel, I lost my son Danny on 5/2/06, he was 24 years old, he will always be my lost angel, my middle son who struggled so hard with addiction and mental health issues. I am so sorry for the loss of your Matt, believe me I know the pain and grief. What a handsome young man he was, great smile. But he will live on forever in your broken heart. Many hugs, Eva, Danny's mom 10/24/81 to 5/2/06
A Parent's Love / Deb Schaller (Mom)
My love for you is not written on paper, for paper can be erased. nor is my love for you etched in stone, for stone can be broken. But my love for you is inscribed in my heart, where it shall remain forever. Unknown
For Matthew / Deb Schaller (Mom) If Roses grow in Heaven, Lord please pick a bunch for me, Place them in my Matthew's arms and tell him they're from me. Tell him I love him and miss him, and when he turns to smile, place a kiss upon his cheek and hold him for awhile. Because remembering him is easy, I do it every day, but there's an ache within my heart that will never go away. (author unknown)
My Mom is a Survivor / Unknown My Mom is a survivor, or so I've heard it said. But I can hear her crying at night when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand. She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach that never wash away . . . I watch over my surviving mom, who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others . . . a smile of disguise! But through Heaven's door I see tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive. But anyone who knows her knows it is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom through Heaven's open door . . . I try to tell her that angels protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn't help her . . . or ease the burden she bears. So if you get a chance, go visit her . . . and show her that you care.
For no matter what she says . . . no matter what she feels. My surviving mom has a broken heart that time won't ever heal Author Unknown
Another GriefNet mom crying out for her child. / Carol Borders As a mother who lost her son April 14, 2006 to an overdose of heroin, I know how your family is struggling. It hurts more than the uninitiated can comprehend. Matthew, my son died at age 20. He knew what you knew. I am so sorry. Matthew, all the mothers who have lost their children are looking for them, everywhere they go.
Happy 30th Birthday, Matthew!! / Deb Schaller (MattsMom)Read >>
Happy 30th Birthday, Matthew!! / Deb Schaller (MattsMom)
Happy 30th birthday Matthew! How we would love to be teasing you about being old and how sad we are that we can't. We miss you every day and can't wait to see you and hold you again someday. That is the hope that keeps me going. We miss you and are thankful for the years we had with you. Close
Interceding for you / Beth Renken (Know Matthew's Mom, Grandmom & Aunt )Read >>
Interceding for you / Beth Renken (Know Matthew's Mom, Grandmom & Aunt )
Although I did not know Matthew, it is obvious he was well loved and is sorely missed. You daily find a place in my prayers and often in my tears. I am grateful to know that I will one day meet him and there will be no sorrow on that day because God will have wiped away all our tears. In the meantime, He is saving every teardrop in His bottle. Each one is precious to Him and understood by His heart of compassion. He draws me to pray for your comfort and peace because He loves you.....I do, too.
Umbrella Ministries / Janet Pate (Friend of MOM )Read >>
Umbrella Ministries / Janet Pate (Friend of MOM )
Hi Deb, Janet here! Just went to your son's memorial site it is AWESOME thank you for sharing him. It was real nice hanging with you at the conference.
I hope we all meet up again next year.
Love ya Janet Close
Thinking of you today.... / Tammy, Justin's Mom (GN, friend of mom's )Read >>
Thinking of you today.... / Tammy, Justin's Mom (GN, friend of mom's )
Please know my thoughts are with you today. I pray Matthew's presence was especially close to you today...
Happy birthday / Katrina Turner (GN friend to Deb )Read >>
Happy birthday / Katrina Turner (GN friend to Deb )
Happy birthday in Heaven. I am crying for your mum, your song is just so beautiful. I feel her love in your site and I feel her pain. May you help her find peace. Close